The Occipital knob at the back of his head slammed down hard and struck his spine like a hammer, snapping it in several places and forcing him to the ground with a heavy dust raising thud. Fighting the sudden impact, Raff rose to his hands and knees just as his spine ripped up to tear through his skin with a life of its own. Bones burst through the skin, tearing the tendons from the muscles and spraying up blood in a high arc toward the ceiling to join the old blood spatters that already decorated the macabre little space. The multiple snaps and pops of bones breaking and reforming along his face, choked off the scream that tried to sound out. Tears streamed from his eyes as all his teeth fell out spraying in a light scattering along the ground, only to reform forty two teeth with four inch fangs. Raff's jaw and skull reformed and lengthened as the change reached his throat and shoulders, flaying every inch of his skin wide open in bloody tatters, leaving nothing whole.

His neck jerked in a backward spasm, fighting against the agony as every single bone in his body shattered, reformed and stretched skin, muscles and tendons to beyond any human limit. Gagging and retching, his head hung down and he gasped desperately, struggling for every painful breath. 


'MERK STOP! YOU'RE KILLING ME! I CAN'T DO THIS! PLEASE I'M BEGGING YOU!' the silent thoughts screamed through Raff's shaggy head, begging for mercy at a curse that had only barely begun to show its potential.

Blood dripped and pooled beneath his transforming body, trembling as hard as the writhing creature above it. Raff's arms and hands snapped loudly, shoving him face first into the sinister crimson pool with a splash. The long fine bones of his paws shot thick dark nails through the ends of his fingers and toes at once, searing through the skin like daggers to form the necessary digits. 

Lastly, his hip bones shattered hard, swiftly sending razor sharp bone shards into the surrounding walls and into the witch before him. Held deep within her surging magic, Merk felt none of the debris as her powerful spell surrounded the air like a miasma of protection. Raff could only make a gasping growling sound as his larynx hadn't yet fully formed. The pelvic bones slanted and reformed, sending out extended tendons to each of the sixteen toes to ensure the digitigrade tracks to protect his every step, while his throat finally finished its reformation and taste buds. 

An anguished howl tore through his already raw and newly formed throat, at last giving voice to the unbearable agony of lycan transformation. The pain pleasure threshold reached its limit and the abrupt cessation was enough to make Raff collapse in relief. He must be dead now, because the pain had stopped at long last. Every millimeter of his skin and nerves still tingled sharply and he timidly opened his eyes, apprehensive of what he'd find. It was the longest ninety seconds of Raff's life.

But they were only half way through what needed doing and the wolf didn't know that. But Merk did and she wasn't looking forward to it. How could she be expected to unleash that kind of beast and then just pop him back to human so swiftly? His transformation, normal as it was, had been ugly and horrible just to watch, so she had no idea what it must've felt like. Now she had to get him to rejoin her so she could make him do it--again. The whole thing had barely taken fifteen minutes but she'd been warned that the longer they stayed lupine, the more feral they became. The pressure mounted as she watched the enormous wolf kicking dirt over a mangled creature. 

"I need to burn this Raff so you can't wander too far. Just be patient." 

Pain was talking to him but honestly, the scent of badly tainted hot blood made him even more nervous and he whined high pitched through his nose. When she picked up a stone to scrape out a clean area of dirt to fire up the thing, the wolf leapt away and started trotting off back to the forest. 

"Raff I can't do this and watch you at the same time!" Frustrated, she quickly bent to bare the ground to dirt and worked to concentrate on a decent fire incantation. The moment the smoke roared up, the wolf was out of sight! The animal burned while she stood and searched the area, getting a little worried. She knew she could Call him faithfully, but this first time needed eye contact--and fast! 

A swift movement caught her eye just a pair of nobles went by on their horses and Merk held her breath, hoping he wouldn't try for them! Fortunately, Merk didn't know much about wolves.

The shaggy wolf heard hoofbeats and took off at a breakneck speed, avoiding such large creatures with sharp hooves and enough body mass to kill him. He'd never attempt even one riderless horse without a whole pack! The fresh grass bruised beneath his feet, easing his tension and he turned on a paw to circle back to Pain. He didn't know why he did, but the urge to be near her, to protect Pain, was unbearable. He urged his legs faster, gaining a surprising speed until he was almost on the horses' tails and skidded to a stop. He growled and raised his hackles, making sure he was between the large beasts and her. Horses could've killed her! The wolf chanced a look over his shoulder at the robed woman, scenting the air and assuring himself she remained unhurt. 

"You came back Raff!" she cried out in relief and he flattened his ears back at the sudden loud tone, glaring at her. 
"Let's go back to the shed now." Pain started walking back to the place where she'd hurt him, killed him, had drawn his blood and burst him apart! NO! He planted all four paws in terror, his pupils growing huge with fear. Pain turned to stare him down and simply said,

"By me now." her voice was so quiet, so gentle but the wolf felt the tendrils around his paws and legs and will, forcing him forward. With more than reluctance, he followed Pain back to the shed, the scent of his blood still fresh and scary. She would kill him again, he knew it. He didn't want it. There was no voice to protest so the wolf tilted back his head and howled out long and loud in his terror at facing more of his death again. 

"You're doing great Raff, but we need to get you back damn fast or you'll be stuck like this and .. and they'll kill you Raff. You have to come with me." Merk's explanation meant nothing but sounds from an anonymous thing. But her tone was pleading and deeply concerned, which finally moved his paws over the door's threshold. 

Merk closed the door behind the wolf and stood in front of the new hole he'd made earlier, blocking his only easy exit. Slowly she brought up her hands, chanting quietly, the words growing stronger as the magic swirled and leapt between her and the huge wolf. 

Something at the back of his neck smashed into his spine, and he yowled in pain so loud that Merk jumped, almost losing her concentration. But she -had- to watch him, transform him or he'd die for sure. There was no more vulnerable time for a wolf than mid transformation.

This time, his spine lept up like a snake, ripping out of his skin with a bloody pull of tendons tearing out his shoulders, making his ribs break, snap and reformed all at once. The pain seared through him burning hot as it reached his face and his teeth, whipping from his mouth like bullets into the surrounding wood, ripping his larynx and snapping his neck back to an s curve. He choked on the blood, gasping for air as it shredded his heart and lungs back to human size and placement. On the verge of death, he pawed at his newly formed throat, undoing the new magics. 

'STOP PAIN STOP IT HURTING I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT STOP IT I DONT WANT TO DIE AGAIN! PLEASE PLEASE!' The thoughts emerged as the wolf was half-way back to Raff and he gasped at the air, straining and his eyes fit to burst. His pelvis was pulverized and he writhed along the ground, spraying blood, bones and sinew. All four legs had to shatter to make room for two longer thicker human legs and his spine's verterbrae cracked and popped into place as the tail rescinded. 

Raff laid on his side nearly unconscious in a puddle of blood, bone and gore, facing the doorway. 

A couple of the posted guards called over some messengers to give word to the infirmary before turning their attention back to the returning pair. Both of them were drenched in blood and the witch looked she'd been caught in a tornado. One of them barked like a dog at Raff, getting in the first teasing at their Pairing. It was the first of what would be hundreds in Raff's future, but he didn't mind. His main concern was making sure that Merk got healing, and damn quickly. He spared one quick glare at the guard, his eyes showing whitely through the macabre gore on his face.

"Eyes front soldier." Merk scolded him. "And if I hear a growl out of you, I'll smack you with a scroll of paper, got it?!" 

Raff nodded quietly, glad that she was at least mentally safe. He couldn't quite say the same for himself as he had no idea what happened between changes. For the rest of his life, he'd rememeber the soul tearing agony of changing before and after, but there was zero memory of what it had been to BE a wolf. Vague sensations of grass and blood and nothing else! 

A rank smell of lye soap and sickness smacked him hard in the face and he flinched back from it. Still healing internally, Raff stumbled and worked to get off his knees in confusion. The tent had to be fifty yards away! Small muscles worked in his temples, as if remembering the feel of pinning his ears back and Raff shook his head to clear it. 

The young soldier rose to his feet walking on steadily, after seeing Merk going relentlessly, despite her multiple injuries and he trotted a few strides to catch up to her as they neared the tent. A couple initimidating superior officers guided them inside to quickly get a debriefing on how everything went. 

Raff could hear and then see what had to be at least a dozen people standing around the tent and it made him uneasy. Half of them went to Merk's side as they lay her down and the other half went to Raff's quick to start the barrage of questions. Quills scratched at partchment in the most spine itching way and Raff twisted in irritation at the sounds. 
Instantly they started on Merk but soon Raff's irritation blurred out their words when he had his own inquistion to deal with.
"Was he Aggro or Feral?" 
"Feral."
"How long was he in wolf form?"
"Just over fifteen minutes."


"Did she break concentration during the summoning spell?"
"No."
"Do you trust your witch?"
"NO!. I mean.. yes.. I don't know. Get off of me!" Raff shook off the three pairs of hands working to clean him off and he pulled himself up to a sitting position with a snarl. 

"I said, hands off!" It stunk and it was so noisy and crowded! What the fuck was going on?! He'd never been a chicken shit his entire life and now everything was too much? 

"Knock it off and lay back Terach. Standard procedure kid. Nevermere owns your ass the day you signed those papers so suck it up buttercup."

The nurse continued washing him down, completely ignoring his protests and the officer continued with his questions.
"What do you remember?"
"Pain. Just pain..." Raff drifted off on a rapidly fading memory. "Her name was Pain."
"What?"
"You heard me. Pain."
"Did you hit your head during transformation?" he asked sarcastically, writing down his answers and questioning the nurses as they worked. 
Raff said nothing further about it and the memory disappeared completely. Something was missing now and he didn't know what it was. One of the nurses started washing where things got personal and he yelped in pain like a dog. 
"BUY ME A DRINK BEFORE YOU GRAB MY FUCKIN JUNK YOU BITCH!!" Raff yelled and shoved her hand back. His pelvic bone was still broken in several places and the slightest movement was sheer anguish without anyone's outside help to make it hurt more.

"You weren't kidding about the Feral, Merk!" the Lieutenant called over to the witch through the courtesy curtain before turning back to his charge. "Alright Terach calm down. Nurses step back from him for now. Those two returned faster than any other pair, so they're gonna need a little extra time. You're dismissed for a half hour break."

Now that he was sitting up, Raff tried to slip off the edge of the bed and reach Merk to check on her. The officer body blocked him instantly, not allowing him off the bed.

"MERK" Raff called out, frustrated that he couldn't see if she was gonna be ok.
"I'm fine Terach, stand down." she called back from the other side, her tone reassuring.

Though Raff couldn't see her, he could at least hear her and he tuned out the guy standing beside him to listen intently to Merk's interrogation.

"Did he try to attack you, run or both?"
"He ran."
"Did he refuse any recalls?" 
"No."
"And you both sealed your acceptance bond while he was tranformed?"
"Yes."
"Did he eat or attack anything?"
"Yes. He killed a rabid fox but quickly dropped it. I burned it."
"Any witnesses?"
"Two nobles on horseback."
"Report."
"He put himself between me and them, but harmed neither."
"Were you attacked during transformation before or after?"
"No."
"Did he obey the moment he got back to human form?
"He..he obeyed kind of in the same way, but he's different now."
"Report."
"Sharpened senses, higher pain threshold, visible physical resistance."

"Terach, I SAID, what exactly do you remember?!" the guy yelled in Raff's face, bringing him back to his own reality. 
"Nothing okay? Grass and blood."
The guy moved on to the next endless series of questions as they both ignored the loud snaps and pops of Raff's bones healing while he laid back down.