There were times where Iliana had found it increasing difficult to both be the Queen her kingdom needed and yet the mother that her children needed. Cass was growing up so fast, watching her dark haired son who resembled his father smile brightly. Something that she was sure he got from her, as she had never seen such a bright smile on Cassian's face. Small ones, his eyes lit up more than anything else on his face, but Cass was more like her.

And then there was Declan, curious little hands who wanted to grab hold of everything that he could. He was old enough now that he was trying to crawl around, not quite there but definitely growing more and more determined as the days passed. Iliana stood with him on her hip, her hand holding a sloppily made snowball as she prepared to throw it back at Cass after he hit her with another one. It was the moments like this, the stolen time she got to take with her son's that she lived for. That mad her push on to try and figure out how to make Lorendale better, so when Cass grew to take on not only Nevermere but Lorendale as well, with his betrothed at his side, he'd have less than this chaos to deal with. Hopefully.

As the sun slowly left the area where they were, a few more balls of snow were exchanged, cheeks and the tips of their noses red before she tucked Cass to her side opposite of Declan and looked towards Coraline and Otto. "I believe it's time to warm up." The flush to her own face said the same thing, as Cass straightened his jacket and brushed off some of the snow. A well behaved prince, who occasionally got to be a boy. As she approached Coraline, she kissed Declan's plump little cheek before she handed him to her and watched as the two followed her inside. Lingering behind for a moment, snow caught on her cloak and several of her curls.

A sadness, but one filled with love, lingering on her face as she watched the three walk away.

Otto stepped closer to the group as the Queen addressed them. Coraline was all warm smiles and gentle words and she cooed at little Declan as she took the boy in her arms and guided Cass back inside so they could warm up and get ready for bed. Another guard followed behind the two little princes and Otto remained at the side of the Queen.

He saw the look in her eyes as she watched her children, studying her curiously. The snowflakes continued to fall gently, her curls sparkling with their crystalline glimmer. He couldn't imagine the weight that she had to carry as a wife, a mother, and a Queen. Each with their own burdens and joys. "Are you alright, my Queen?" he asked. When she had just taken the throne he had been nothing but professional, keeping all of his opinions and questions to himself. But he'd been at her side for her entire reign and comfortability naturally had grown over time. He was still careful not to overstep his bounds, but her well being was his job after all. At least to some extent.

Iliana didn’t know how long she stood there, though the children hadn’t quite disappeared around the corner when October’s voice broke her trance. She blinked a few times, her shoulders squaring, but remaining watch them until they disappeared from sight. “I’m more than alright,” she spoke with a gentleness, as if just waking from a dream.

“Taking everything good in our world, it doesn’t hold any weight to what I feel for my sons.” Not a queen speaking to her guard, but perhaps a mother to a friend. Those green eyes blinked a bit more, pulling her further to the present as she looked way up to Otto. “How is your nephew?”

smile lifted the royal guard's lips at her words about her sons. For anyone who studied the history books the would often seen a lack of too much attention that a ruling monarch gave to their children. They had so much on their shoulders that rearing a child often took a back seat. It was this, and many other reasons, why Otto felt that Iliana's children were very blessed indeed. Little princes with parents who ruled two kingdoms, yet who got to spend time quality time with them. Or at least their mother.

"They are lucky boys to have a mother who gives them the time that you do," he told her. Having served at her side for so long he wasn't shy about offering words that were more like that of friends than of just a monarch and her royal guard. His smile softened affectionately as she asked after his nephew. "Niko is doing well in spite of it all. I love just listening to him talk and all the sounds he can't quite say correctly. I'll miss him at this age as he grows."

His words were kind, and she felt her cheeks lift a bit as a soft smile took over her lips. "There are times, if I may share such a secret," she glanced up at him from the corner of her eyes. She spoke soft enough that the words were only for the two of them to hear and not the others that lingered around the garden. "That I wish I had far more time to give them. It doesn't feel like enough, but that is the price of being a mother and a queen." Iliana took a deep breath, her chin ticking just slightly upwards as she said it.

She had once hated it, the crown, the title. When she had first 'won' it... more that her mother had... she had cried. She wanted her life in the country with her father, she wanted the quiet and the running through the fields, she wanted... simple. Had wanted. Now? "I can't picture it any other way now though." There was a strange, sad pride to her voice before Otto was answering her about his nephew. That was a lot easier to focus on than a life she had long left behind in dreams.

"A chatter box?" She asked, her head fully turning to look up at him. Her smile more muted but the warmth in her eyes was just as much there as it was with a full on smile of hers. "I am sure you will find new ways to adore and cherish him, even when he starts to speak his words with all the proper sounds." A small laugh left her at the thought before she was glancing back at the large garden around them. "I am looking forward to Vers. I'm ready to see the life back in this garden."

It was only further proof that she was an excellent mother in that she wished she could be there with them more. "It is a price they will grow to understand. They'll know how much you love them and that you always did all you could." He would make sure of it himself if he had to. He watched the expression on her face, feeling pleasantly warm to know that she trusted him with such a secret. He remembered how much harder it had been for her in the early days of her rule. He'd been there through it all. But he could see the woman she'd become since then. "Neither can the rest of the Kingdom. It might have been a messy way to get here, but I truly believe that you were meant to be our Queen." He has almost ended with her first name but bit his tongue for the time being.

He didn't yet have children of his own but it was something he desperately wanted. The love he had for his nephew was a hint of the kind of life he could have. It made him at least able to relate with her wanting to spend more time with her children. He knew he'd be aching to run home to his family every day after his shifts...if he had a family to run home to. It was his most ardent dream. Simple perhaps, but powerful nonetheless.

His gaze moved to look around the garden as well and couldn't help but smile. "I swear it gets more and more beautiful each year. I have no doubt it will continue to do so. We just have to make it through the rest of Hiems. Ver is right around the corner."

It's all she wanted; healthy children, ones who understood how loved they were, how cherished they were. And not just because they wore the title of prince. Both of her sons had such different roles already placed upon their narrow shoulders. Cass, the first legitimate heir, though not the first of Cassian's children. Somehow, it was natural for Iliana to take them under her wing whenever she had been around them in Nevermere. The two prior sons would become close to Cass, were close to him. Where Cass would wear the crown, he'd have a close knit of brothers who would be advisors or part of a royal cabinet. Cass would never need to feel alone.

"You have much faith in me, Count Montgomery," she said with a small laugh before she nodded towards the entrance of the gardens. "I could go for another walk through. Let us guess which will bloom first within the garden." She would look for his small nod of confirmation before they'd set off together into it. Walking steadily with her hands folding in front of her, fingers laced prettily together. After the first bend, she'd stop to look at a few of the bushes. "Do you find that I am reaching too far to try and accommodate both gifteds and non-gifted?" She asked almost out of no where.

October smiled down at his Queen. "Faith that is well-founded, your Majesty," he replied warmly. He truly believed it too. He was not one to flatter just for the sake of it. He meant what he said. And good riddance to her mother who had disappeared. He shuddered to think what things would be like now if she had ruled for too much longer. Iliana was a far choice for the welfare of Lorendale.

He nodded at her wish for a walk and he remained two steps behind and to the side of her as he accompanied her along. "Aren't the tulips typically among the first?" he said thoughtfully though he was no gardener. He wasn't even sure if there were tulips in the royal gardens this year as they sometimes swapped out flowers in favor of other types.

He stopped as she did and though he would tell her that he was examining the hints of early buds he was actually watching her; the slope of her nose as she looked at the plants, the curve of her lips, the line of her jaw, the shape of her eyes, and the curls that kissed her cheekbones. She had regal blood, that could not be denied.

Her sudden question brought him out of his reverie and it took him a moment to comprehend her question as he thought about what she was asking. Again, he didn't want to flatter just for the sake of it. So he measured his words before replying. "Not at all," he said, "The gifted have always been a part of Lorendale. They belong here just as much as the non-gifted do. Their history is rather unfortunate but nothing can be done about that now. All we can do is try to heal the old wounds and find a way to make it work. It won't be easy by any means, people tend to get stuck in their ways, but I think the path you're trying to take is a noble one."

Iliana paused in thought, was it always the tulips? She wasn't sure, but it made her glance around them as if she'd suddenly find a patch peeking up through the larger trees and bushes around them. Enough time that she missed the way his eyes had lingered on her face, something that might have not been seen for what it could've been portrayed as... at least not in that moment. This was October... a guard who had been at her side for a long time now.

A noble path. She wasn't sure why, but it didn't quite comfort her as much as she wanted it to. "I know we can't change the past. And for us to always be looking behind us... we will get so lost in it that we won't see the path forward. I want all of Lorendalers to live in a sense of peace. I know it's a hefty dream, a childish one as well..." she had turned to face him, staring up at him but dropped her gaze to the ground between them. "I want my son to find himself stepping into a kingdom that isn't crumbling at every corner."

Childish? His brows furrowed a bit at the word but as he opened his mouth to retort she had turned to face him and the words got caught in his throat as he looked down at her, expression softening immediately even as she dropped her own gaze downward. He had the sudden urge to lift her chin softly to look at him but he resisted the feeling, the only remanent of his thoughts was a slight twitch of fingers in his right hand.

He exhaled softly. "Is that what you see?" he asked, his voice quiet and soft, non-judgmental. "A kingdom crumbling under this pressure?" He shook his head slightly. "That is not what I see. Let me show you what I see." It wasn't exactly a question but he had intoned it slightly as one. "Come this way." He began to lead her out of the garden, keeping close enough to always be in line of sight as her, never walking directly in front of her. They didn't need to go far.

He took her to one of the windows that looked out upon Loren and motioned down to the people milling about in the square. "What do you see here?" he asked.

There was a brief pause between them, where there seemed to be a bit of tension that she barely picked up on. Her eyes swearing she watched some part of him... perhaps his hand... twitch as if it wanted to act on its own but he kept himself focused. It wasn't until he spoke that her chin lifted once again just enough to look up at him through her lashes as if she was nervous to hear what he had to say.

Yet why should she? October had always been a supporter of her, and even then, he seemed to have a whole other idea of what he saw when he looked at her rule. She followed him as he lead the way, her step falling in beside him as it was obvious the two were in conversation now rather than him following behind her because she had picked a new destination. They got to a window, and while she looked only at him for a few moments, eventually sure turned to look over Loren.

"I see my kingdom," she said softly, her eyes roaming over the rooftops of the buildings that were broken up by a web of streets and alleys. "Our kingdom," she said even softer, before her eyes fell back to the square. "Life," she murmured even softer.

October watch her face as she looked over her kingdom. Their kingdom. She had been hidden away for so much of her childhood but her mother had always wanted this for her. While he, and most of the kingdom, had not much been a fan of her mother, he saw how Iliana had taken her chance and what she'd done with it thus far. She was still young and had, long live the queen, a lot of time left to make her mark.

As she answered his question he smiled. "Life, but not just any life. Joyful life." He pointed down at the square where a flower seller was surrounded by a group of people who were all looking to buy some of their wares. "Young and old, men and women, noble and commoner, gifted and nongifted. We all live here in a place where their ruler cares about them, who cares for their safety and overall well being. Lorendale is a blessed place where we get to enjoy a life that not all others do. There will always be those who like to be contrary, but most people? Most people know how lucky they are to have a life here. A life worth living."

It was how October leaned to point out a specific spot that had her eyes trace his arm, down his wrist and finger until she could see exactly what he was pointing at. How simple the scene really was… flowers. They were gathered around to buy the first flowers that the approaching Vers had to offer. In a way, she had to appreciate the scene. That in such a place, even with everything happening at the moment, here was a group of people worrying over flowers to fill vases in their homes. Or to bring to a loved one.

His words were encouraging, her eyes shining in a way that suggested how moved she was to be reminded of such a thing when she constantly only heard how every step she tried to take was opposed by one side. Noses turned up to her because it wasn’t harder on the other side. “How did I get so lucky to have someone like you by my side?” She laughed lightly, “remind me to re-evaluate your pay.” As if that was the only reason he actually had stayed by her side all these years.