Bowen was right. She hadn’t been entirely sure when she had left him behind and turned down the side street he’d indicated to her, but in this, at least, the Minister of Internal Affairs hadn’t lied. With Walnut resting on her shoulders for the latter half of the mile - he was tired, Kes, come on, please? - she had not fled as much as walked with purpose away from the man who had, at some point, put a shadow on both her and Kaveri, and even now, the back of her neck prickled with the sensation of feeling watched. She glanced around again but just as she had the last time she’d done so, Kester saw no one. Differentiating between what was in her head and what was actually true had become difficult, though just because she couldn’t see them didn’t mean they weren’t there.

For such an ostensibly friendly guy, Bowen Belcourt was deeply unsettling.

When he’d caught sight of a familiar Dresmondi and his dyr, Walnut had shouted a far more enthusiastic “Kaveri! Nephys!” than the sharper tone Kester might have used and followed it up with an equally eager wave. As both man and ram turned to look at them, he wiggled his way free - What happened to too tired to walk, Walnut - and raced ahead. His little legs carried him in his distinctive hopping run to stop before Nephys, whom he considered with a head tilt, grin, and wave as he rose to stand on his back legs. Even the ram’s more serious demeanor couldn’t dampen the river otter’s excitement.

If he could and the ram was amenable, Walnut would reach up and light touch noses with the other dyr before turning his attention to the man not far from either of them. He would wave at Kaveri as well, preparing to run over to him and already spewing out a quick “Hi guys! I heard you’re rebuilding a library. That’s pretty neat. It looks—” when the Dresmondi’s words brought him up short.

“Kaveri!” His name was said more scandalized now. “Is that it? We’ve come all this way to see you, and you ask us ‘what is it now’?”

Walnut.

“What, Kester? You used to be so close, and now it’s been ages since we were all together, and you haven’t even bothered to say hi, and he’s just—“

Walnut. It’s fine. Drop it.

Crossing her arms and shifting her weight to one leg, Kester turned away from her dyr and ran an assessing gaze over Kaveri. For once, he looked sober and the smell of alcohol didn’t hang off of him like a second set of clothes. They’d managed to catch him before he got lost at the bottom of his next bottle, which was good because the creeping paranoia that her conversation with Bowen had bestowed upon her had eaten up whatever patience she might have had to deal with a drunk Kaveri. For a variety of reasons that neither of them wanted to examine too closely, she barely had the patience to deal with a sober one these days, so more often than not, she simply hadn’t. It was easier for both of them that way.

“They can wait,” She relayed to Kaveri, a seed of familiar irritation taking root and starting to grow the longer he refused to look at her. He, of all people, knew how much she relied on— Kester took a breath. “We need to talk. Do you have somewhere we can go? Without all of them.” She was, of course, referring to the small but consistent stream of passers by who did a poor job hiding their interest in the two Dresmondi.

“Would I ever!”

Despite the lukewarm welcome and sting of the subsequent disappointment, Walnut practically radiated joy at reuniting with Kaveri and Nephys, and the overflow of her dyr’s happiness tempered some of Kester’s hostility. After watching the otter climb with practiced ease onto the ram’s back - muscles remembered what the mind tried its best to forget - she turned away from the all too familiar sight and gestured for Kaveri to lead the way.

When they started walking toward what was clearly a tavern, she hesitated, and when Nephys explained exactly where they had been living, she crossed her arms again and stared at the back of her former friend’s head.

“He’s still your friend.”

Kester ignored Walnut in favor of saying, “A tavern. Really? You’ve been staying in a tavern?” Though well aware that Kaveri couldn’t see, she shook her head, not even sure why the admission even upset her anymore. He had spent years splitting his time between working and drinking, so it wasn’t like this should have come as anything other than the escalation of a pattern she’d come to expect. And yet… “When you haven’t been working, have you done anything other than drink the entire time you’ve been here?” A pause. “Nevermind. Don’t answer that. I don’t want to know.”

“Kester, come on,” Walnut pleaded from where he rested on the ram’s shoulders. “We just got here. It’s been a long day. You’re worried about Bowen. Kaveri’s tired from working. Can we please not fight tonight?”

Kester glanced at him and took a deep breath. “Fine,” She agreed, though with the simmering irritation lurking just under her skin, she wasn’t sure how long the truce would last. “Let’s just go inside and talk.”

“Don’t say it, Kes.” A pause in which Walnut carefully tested the waters before adding more firmly, “I mean it, Kester. That’s not going to help you or him, and you know it.”

You sure about that? She shot back. I think it would help me feel a whole lot better.

“Please, Kester. Just don’t.”

Walnut, Kaveri, and the tenuous peace that had stretched between them were saved by the barkeep. His shout across the tavern had Kester turning to look at him and the mug he had already started to prepare. Even with the evidence of what they both already knew still causing her brow to furrow and lips to curve downward, she couldn’t help the tiny spark of hope that flared to life when he turned down the drink - only to be smothered when he promised in the next breath to save the drinking for later, after she had left. The implication that she was there for anything other than conversation went unacknowledged.

Kaveri’s room was small and functional. Once upon a time, Kester might have sat on the bed beside him, but as Nephys and Walnut settled on the blanket on the floor, she made for the chair that rested beside it. She might have kicked off her own shoes and curled up in the chair, legs folded under her while all four of them basked in the shared enjoyment of one of Walnut’s or Kaveri’s many stupid jokes. Instead, she sat there in deafening silence that she didn’t know how to break and watched him unlace his boots with a familiarity that haunted her.

As he always had, Kaveri saved her. She swallowed and blinked away to watch Walnut tracing patterns in the short hair on Nephys’ shoulder. The river otter had slid off the ram’s back but stayed close, finding undeniable comfort in the company of the dyr he’d missed so much. Kester looked at the notebook and pen in her lap instead. “Mikhail’s finally decided that his wagon needs fixing,” She said. “And he only wants you.” Despite the many other talented carpenters among the Dresmondi. Shaking her head, she dared to glance over at Kaveri again. “I told them you wouldn’t be able to come back until you were done here, but you know how he gets when he doesn’t get his way. That’s why they sent me.”

To Nephys alone, Walnut whispered, “Water finds its way into all the little cracks, and when it gets this cold, it freezes and makes them worse.”

Kester didn’t notice her dyr’s added commentary. She picked at the notebook’s cover, thinking again of Bowen and the man against the wall and who knew how many others had gone unnoticed. A grouchy old man might have gotten her to Elyusian, but after that afternoon, he was hardly the reason she had needed to find Kaveri with a fresh urgency. “Have you seen anyone watching you? Someone who keeps coming back or just stays for a long time.”

You know that’s exactly what he thinks, Kester confirmed with her own eye roll. She wouldn’t know personally, but Mikhail had apparently always been a rather stubborn, self-centered individual and old age had only exacerbated the unpleasant qualities that already existed. The man was Rashai, so his poor behavior wouldn’t have been either of their problems had Dresmond remained as it should have. Nephys made his astute observation, and she nodded at the ram, enjoying the rare moment of agreement between them. The sentiment was indeed one that she understood, but it was also clear that they couldn’t be so boldly preferential toward themselves without incurring negative consequences that they couldn’t afford to face.

So compromise was necessary, and one of those compromises was Kaveri keeping his word about the job he’d taken.

That Mikhail would have to wait was hardly surprising. Kester had warned them, and on her journey north, she’d already decided that she wouldn’t be returning south without Kaveri. I’ll stay here,She told him, referring to the city as a whole as opposed to the small room they had all settled in. Go back with you when you’re done. A pause, but she opted for the easy excuse instead of admitting the more painful truth. Mikhail will have to wait either way, and I’d rather not be there while he does.

Her question caught both his and Nephys’ attention, and she was pleased, at least, that he hadn’t lost all of his sense at the bottom of the bottle. We’re both being watched, Kester said bluntly, not one to mince words. At least since we stepped foot in Elyusian, possibly earlier. She sought Kaveri’s eyes, then turned her gaze down to the notebook in her lap as she opened it. Walnut and I were looking for you, and we stopped by a fountain. A man named Bowen Belcourt started talking to me. While she explained, she flipped through the pages to find the one where the Arynnite had written his name and handed it over to Kaveri. He said he’s the Minister of Internal Affairs and works with the queen to keep Arynn Frey safe from threats from the inside.

Letting the words sink in, she paused for a moment before continuing, He asked why Walnut and I were here, and I told him we were looking for you. Kaveri, we’re in the capital of Arynn Frey with who knows how many people here, and he immediately knew exactly who I was talking about. He knew where you’re working, why you’re here, and what you do after work.

“Bowen’s friendly, though!” Walnut piped up in defense of his new friend. “He smiles and laughs a lot, and he really liked my ice tricks.”

Kester turned to look over at the two dyrs. Even if he is as well-intentioned as he claims to be, what if he’s not the only one watching us? Now, that she had started voicing them, the concerns that had built up over the course of her conversation with Bowen flooded out. You know as well as I do that most Arynnites don’t see us as equals, and no one knows us here. Or would care enough to go looking if one of them disappeared. Lone Dresmondi in a city of Arynnites, they were easy to find and, if already incapacitated, easier still to defeat. You’re getting predictably drunk every night, Kaveri. If someone out there wants to hurt you, how are you going to stop them?

Nodding to confirm that Bowen was a minister, Kester looked up and handed Kaveri the notebook. Despite the apparent criticism, Walnut practically beamed when the Dresmondi turned and addressed him, but the happiness was short lived: Kester did not appreciate his flippant response to her valid concern. You’re fine when you drink? Don’t be ridiculous. A group of people can still hurt you, even if they’re not trained to fight. I have been around you when you’re drunk. Why had she expected him to be reasonable in this when he clearly hadn’t been every other time? Your reflexes and balance are shit. Your awareness shrinks to the drink in your hand. You’re barely thinking, and you’re definitely not winning any fights.

Nephys chimed in with his reminder. Kester gestured toward him, but let them move the conversation forward. Focusing any longer on the alcohol would only spark another argument, and she had promised Walnut she would try to maintain the peace.

Blackwood? Kester’s brow furrowed as she repeated the word to herself, but the name was predictably unfamiliar. Her gaze traveled from Kaveri to Nephys as each of them described her, and the lines of questioning sent a chill down her spine. Arynnites were curious, but would idle curiosity alone drive one to ask a stranger about shared pain and death? She wished he hadn’t answered any of Blackwood’s questions. Whether he would admit or not, alcohol impaired Kaveri’s judgement such that Kester did not trust the choices he made while drinking, but Nephys was as steady and dependable as ever. If this Blackwood girl with enchantments that changed her hair made the ram uncomfortable, then she was someone worth being wary of. Skinny, with a triangle on the back of her neck. She ran a hand over her face. Did she say why she was asking you about all of that?

Kaveri’s questions had her looking back at him, eyes landing on the page with her responses to Bowen. Silently, she nodded and elaborated, He told me has a whole network of informants that he uses to keep Arynn Frey safe. People tell them their problems and thoughts on current affairs, they tell him, and he makes sure they’re addressed by the relevant parties. Even with the assurance that she could control the information flow should she decide to take Bowen up on his offer, something about it all still sat uneasily with her. But he doesn’t have anyone among the Dresmondi. Kester took a breath and looked at Kaveri. So he asked me to be his representative there, and if I refuse to, he’ll ask you, and if we both decline, then he’ll ask someone else.

Another pause to let them consider that request. He said that’s why he was keeping an eye on us, but I don’t know. He’s tricky. The type to do one thing and have it accomplish five. Bowen might have told her one goal, but not the other four. Like Walnut said, he’s friendly, but the entire time we were talking, he was figuring out how to get me where he wanted. He brought us to a bigger fountain for Walnut to swim in and bought us food in exchange for talking with him.

She pointed to the ‘Thanks’ written near the top of the page. Walnut wanted me to thank him for the meal. Then I asked Bowen why talked to me instead of Kezia. Kester would let him follow along with the questions descending down the page as she explained. Apparently she’s involved with one of the Princes, so he’s worried about a conflict of interest with what she might report. According to him, threats to us could include people who want test subjects, and he said he would hold even an Arynnite accountable. The latter, at the very least, was a statement whose veracity she would doubt until the situation arose where Bowen was forced to choose between siding with a guilty Arynnite or an innocent Dresmondi. I asked about you, because he hadn’t told me yet. And he said I could take some time to think about his request. He left, and now I’m here.

Kester glanced between Kaveri and Nephys before looking back toward the man on the bed. She leaned forward as if lowering her voice to share a secret, even though their method of communication was already secure. Did you notice the kind of information he wants could easily be used as evidence to kick us out once we’ve finished their wall? What if we’re the threat they want to remove to keep Arynn Frey safe?

Kaveri argued that he was fully capable of fighting off ten opponents while utterly shitfaced, because of course he did. When Nephys relayed the message to them, Kester crossed her arms, but before she could push the stupid, stubborn man further, the ram was already moving the conversation forward.

She should have guessed that curiosity had driven the girl to ask such questions. They both knew how Arynnites loved seeking their answers with little care for the appropriateness of such discussions, but she trusted Nephys’s instincts. If something about that interaction made him uncomfortable, then she thought it worth discussing, but the tail end of Kaveri’s words thoroughly distracted her from it.

Kester swallowed and looked away. Of the two of them, Kaveri hadn’t run away. Kaveri was here because Kester had run away and she had never been able to leave him behind. She had found him half-dead and made a selfish decision that had robbed him of the opportunity to die a noble death on the battle field like she suspected he would have preferred. Back then, she had never had the chance to ask, and now— His family was dead, their kingdom had been conquered, and he drank himself into a stupor every night. She didn’t need to ask to know that the answer was the one she feared most.

And it didn’t much matter anymore, did it. In the end, she lost him anyway.

Bowen was easier to think about, if only because suspicion came easier than the mess of emotions caused by Kaveri. Quietly, she listened to the two of them discuss their thoughts. It sounded like he would keep asking around until he found someone who agreed, She told Kaveri with a shrug when they had finished. Then she addressed his other question. And I don’t know. Yes, maybe? But he also said she had a tendency to come and go as she pleases. The other part of Bowen’s explanation returned to her as she spoke. Maybe he just wants someone who’s around more consistently - who’s easier to find and less likely to miss anything - and Kezia’s involvement with the royal family is a convenient excuse.

Kester ran both hands over her face with a sigh before peeking out above them at both the man on the bed and the dyrs on the floor. This kind of mental warfare against a possibly hypothetical, possibly real opponent was not her area of expertise. Both Kaveri and Nephys had brought up good points, and she considered them, rolling them around in her mind as she tried to find flaws in their reasoning.

They might not need a reason, but maybe they want one. As she spoke, Kester absentmindedly toed off her own shoes and leaned back, bringing her legs up to curl up in the chair as she thought aloud - well, sort of. Isn’t that what people do when they know they’re doing something wrong? Look for any little reason to justify their actions so they can tell themselves they’re still good people and sleep well at night. She looked at Nephys. The Arynnites did expect the Dresmondi to fight for them if called upon, but whether they considered their refugee population to be a wall behind the wall or merely a distraction to buy the peacekeepers time to react, she wasn’t sure. Neither thought was particularly comforting, even if it provided a motive for Arynn Frey to keep them around once the wall was complete.

Kester let out a sigh and looked over at Kaveri. I don’t know, She said, after a moment. Is it crazy I’m even considering this?

Kaveri didn’t need to finish his sentence for Kester to start nodding along in agreement. If Bowen’s offer was genuine, then it could change the playing field. Over the years, Dresmondi had quietly gone missing - one or two here and there: not so many as to garner undue attention from anyone important, but enough that the little people had started noticing and whispering among themselves - but the attention of someone in Arynn Frey’s government had the potential to prevent that rate from increasing once the wall was finished and, as Kaveri pointed out, everyone stopped looking their way. Or maybe Bowen could even make it stop entirely. Of course, that was only if he wasn’t trying to find a way to kick them all out of the kingdom in the first place.

And then Kaveri brought up a whole new concern. I don’t know, She said, setting aside a variant of the question for the next time she saw Bowen. She might have given him the impression that she would seek him out, but even if she changed her mind, Kester highly doubted that either she or Kaveri would be able to slip away from Elyusian without running into the Minister of Internal Affairs. Her mind began wandering down that particular path - what if she agreed and then Bowen wasn’t happy with what she offered him - but once again, Kaveri distracted her. Sitting upright, she narrowed her eyes at him and was about to shoot back a pointed remark when Walnut interrupted her with a quiet plea to simply let the comment go.

For a long moment, Kester stared at Kaveri, hackles raised, before she leaned back again. Instead of spitting back anger, she focused on answering his subsequent question. Because I don’t trust him. The only thing he told me that I know is true is that I would be able to control what information I would give him. It was very possible that Bowen would have other ways of verifying whatever she told him, but even if he did, there was something he wanted that he wasn’t already getting. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have approached her. If I say no, and you say no, then he’s going to keep looking for someone else who will agree to it. He is a friendly man, laughs and smiles easily, takes delight in the smallest things. At some point, he’ll find someone who takes him at face value, will think he’s just a pleasant person, and will feed him everything he asks for.

She took a breath. Since I recognize that he’s a threat, I can take that into consideration with regards to what I tell him. And if he has me, maybe he won’t go looking for someone who trusts him more than they should.