It was avoidance. Alys couldn't deny it, but it had seemed mutual. Alys stayed clear of Regan, Regan stayed clear of Alys. They're focus both on Cassian, and almost working in unison to ensure he was watched over, but they never sat down, never stopped to talk. They hadn't since she left for Dresmond and Regan had become a part of this strange trio pack that they were. A pack that Alys had now understood would be growing... slowly, yes... but it would grow.

She hadn't realized she had been lonely in a way that Regan had filled the spot. Even if she had shoved and rejected the idea thus far. Or perhaps reject was too strong of a word. She had felt lonely before, for the years that Cassian had shut himself away from her. The long nights where her wolf would call out for him and she would be met with a deafening silence. The full moons had never been truly fulfilling when she ran alone.

But Regan... of all the witches he could have picked. Alys wished it had been anyone else.

Alys stood up on the castle wall, looking out over the city of Skia, fires starting to be lit on the lanterns that were lining the streets. The wind howling but carrying a faint hint of music that was playing at a tavern somewhere below. Her cloak pulled close over her, her curls blowing back from her face and her cheeks almost numb at this point from the wicked sea wind. She still battled with a lot of things, Cassian, Regan... the pull she had to the Dresmondi male that lingered still within the castle, Logan's missing presence...

She stiffened as she suddenly realized she wasn't alone, cutting her eyes back over her shoulder as her wolf stirred before her mind put together who it was. Noticing Regan, who probably only stopped a few seconds before, she stared over at her. Her eyes flickering over her, looking at her body language for anything aggressive, but found it more tense from something else. Not aggression. "Regan," she said her name, assuming that she'd come to just deliver a message directly from Cassian or would even perhaps walk away. Yet she stood facing her, watching and almost inviting her forward with a small nod.

Regan’s eyes pulsed with glowing amber as Alys’s head snapped in her direction. As soon as the glow came, it was gone, Regan’s eyes assuming their inky darkness once more. She didn’t shrink under Alys’s gaze as she might have before. Regan just let her look, still tense, still ready for anything—for she had no idea what was to come.

When invited, Regan stepped forward. She came just close enough to Alys that she could be heard. The wind came swiftly over the sea, whispering secrets that it had caught on its travels over Skia. “A little chilly for some fresh air, don’t you think?” Regan opened, hesitant, still braced as if for impact.

Alys was tense as well, everything about them was untested and left to stand on rocky footing. She had never quite been able to let go of how Regan had moaned Logan’s name the day she attempted to hurt Alys. The day she had to stand between Regan and Grant as a buffer. The day she was no longer a secret with her own inner beast.

“Perhaps,” she answered, glancing at her from the corner of her eyes. “But it’s better this than nothing.” She considered the idle small talk for a moment before she turned a bit more towards her. Giving her a look that bordered asking what she was doing there and yet also analyzing her body language as well.

Sleeping with Logan. Attacking Cassian. Joining his pack in Alys’s absence. The list of transgressions went on and on. Alys had every right to be tense, despite whatever mental gymnastics Regan had done in her own mind to reconcile the past and present and pack her guilt away. Regan took a few more slow steps forward, purposefully measured, ensuring no sudden movements. She was tense too, though perhaps for different reasons.

“The full moon’s coming,” Regan glanced up at the sky, knowing that Alys was aware of it just as much as she was. She returned her eyes to Alys, her tone still cautious, “I just…we haven't talked. And I, uh, think we should."

The two seemed to be doing the pre-fight dance between one another. Even if her feet hadn’t moved as Regan moved forward, she could feel it rolling off of them. Enough that she had to swallow down a growl from her inner beast that was trying to warn the other female that she was close enough. It was hard, Alys had gotten a few days of training with her before dresmond. Because she knew what it was like to deal with the rippling anger that was still probably burning within Regan. Maybe different, yes, but Alys knew it.

Yet everything changed the moment she arrived in the throne room upon her return. The return Regan should have been with Grant and her on. And Regan growled at her from Cassian’s side. The one Alys had always protected. It had felt like a whole new betrayal, even when Cassian showed up, not explaining Regan, to have her run with them. Something she had only recently gotten back with him.

Brows popped up on her forehead. “You want… to talk?” She repeated it back almost slowly, as if she wanted to make sure both herself and Regan heard the words. That they both understood the dangerous territory the two deadly females were about to enter. “About the full moon?” Goddess that would be the easiest part to talk about. But she knew, deep down, an old wound was about to be ripped open and exposed. For the both of them.

“About everything.”

The words were ominous, but they were the only ones sufficient to capture the enormity of the task ahead. Logan—the ghost lingering between them—made things complicated enough. Regan didn’t even have an inkling of the history between Cassian and Alys. As far as Regan knew, they were both women bound together by their service to their king. Neither had to share him until now, but they had no choice but to find a way. They had to start somewhere.

“I’m sorry you had to find out about, uh, everything all at once,” Regan started, nudging the metaphorical door open, “I’m sure it wasn’t easy.” The words sounded as awkward as they felt, as if they couldn’t quite get their feet underneath them.

Everything.

She almost turned to leave. Felt the shift in her hips as if her body was making the choice for half a second before she steeled herself. Stuffing those balled up fists of hers deeper into the pockets of her cloak. “It wasn’t.” She couldn’t help the small bite her voice had and found herself biting the inside of her cheek and looking at the space between them.

“It was nothing I had been prepared to find or learn when I came home.” The last word echoed between her ears. “It wasn’t a welcome home.” She knew perhaps, she shouldn’t have said it. But she couldn’t stop it. The welcome had started and ended in seconds with the small look she got from Cassian. The one where she swore she saw relief at seeing her. The rest… had been a living cyclone of blows.

“When… did you become one of us?” The easier topic, one she could lift her eyes and meet Regan’s gaze.

One of us.

The wording shouldn’t have mattered. Alys likely didn’t mean anything by it. But it reinforced the fear that Cassian twice now had assuaged: that Regan was an intruder on something already existed. She stifled the insecurity for now, mindful of the edge in Alys’s voice. How she’d almost turned herself from Regan before deciding to stay.

“Cassian changed me in the summer. Not long after you and Grant left for Dresmond.” Stick with the facts, she decided. Piece by piece.

So close to when she had left… and he didn’t breathe a word of it to her. She swallowed the feeling and what she hoped would be a temporary lump in her throat. “I… can’t apologize for how I reacted our first run.” She was at least going with honesty. “It has been just Cassian and I for six years… and he never said anything to me.” Her jaw feathered.

On a small exhale, she could feel her own worry stirring. Was this how she got casted out? Her skin grew taut for a second, as if she might flash into her second skin out of anxiety before she did what she could to ease herself. “While I can’t apologize… my offer from before stands.” The freckled face turned to glance back at the horizon. Of the two females, she was more trained and skilled with the inner beast. “If you want it.”

“I—” Regan started before pausing, stopping to take a deep breath. She’d always been a reactionary, prone to spit whatever words came to mind before she reeled them in. That wasn’t a luxury she had anymore. Regan’s words mattered now in a way they hadn’t before. She did pity Alys. She saw the hurt. But Regan still had questions. Questions that hadn’t been hers to ask before, but were now.

“Cassian’s been training me,” Regan said, almost as an apology, “I know I’m not—I haven’t been at this as long as you have. But I think…it’s important that it’s him. Especially while things, uh, settle.” More to the point, Regan didn’t want to give up her time with Cassian. Maybe if he saw Alys was training her, he would think she didn’t need him. And Regan had been sidelined once before; she wouldn’t let it happen again.

“But, thanks. I appreciate it. I do.” Regan added with sincerity. Then…her features hardened into something more serious. Her posture shifted as she swallowed with a dry click. “There’s something else I need to ask you. I don’t think you’re going to like it, but…if you could just hear me.”

Shut down. Something about it soured in her gut. Cassian had of course been the one that trained Alys. But this was an olive branch, and even if it was ‘appreciated’, it was still pushed away by Regan. By the newest one to their pack, which only made her hands curl harder in her pockets.

It didn’t help that Regan’s face suddenly hardened and her voice seemed to do the same. The muscles in Alys’ body tightening as she prepared for… whatever was now about to be asked. If the words even came close to ‘stay away from Cassian’ she thought she’d lunge first and ask why after. With her heart hammering in her chest, her eyes slightly narrowed in suspicion she asked, “And what’s that?”

Regan could feel her wolf clawing under her skin, desperate to reach the surface. The fire that always flickered in her chest was being fueled by the tension that seemed heavy enough to still even the wind.

1…2…3

Just as Cassian had taught her.

Memory is a funny thing. Remembrances turn summersaults until they assume a manageable form. Accuracy means nothing beneath the fog of memory, obscuring facts to create a new truth. And Regan had her truth—the one she presented to Alys now.

“Logan wanted to remove Cassian from power. After he resigned as captain commander, he tried to enlist my help. That’s why I stopped—why I cut him out.” Regan swallowed, continuing as if the words might lose their velocity and fail to leave her tongue. “The king doesn’t know. After Logan’s death, it just didn't feel…relevant anymore. I don’t plan on going to him with this, so whatever you tell me, I’ll believe you.” Regan took a deep breath.

“I have to know that—that Logan didn’t get to you. That you weren’t part of it. That Cassian is safe.” Regan finished, letting the cruel words smack as cold as the wind on the parapets.

Hearing his name almost made her snarl at Regan. The last person she wanted to talk about with Regan was him, and perhaps she was terrified of what was about to dumped onto her. How long had they continued? How much more did she not know about Regan? About Logan? It was a simmering anger that had her shaking in her boots.

But the question had her almost recoil. As if Regan had hit her. “You think I’d hurt Cassian?” The words were almost whispered disbelief. Her brows knit together. “As much as he kept Logan and I apart…” and a cruel thought ripped through her that maybe Regan was one of those things sent to push them apart further. “I have always reached for Cassian… to support him, to be a strength for him. I love him. Even when I was with Logan.” The intensity made her shoulders draw back. “I knew, and still do, he is the best for Nevermere. It’s why I remained at his side. Even when he shoved me away.” She didn’t point out the many times he had.

“Don’t you dare question my loyalty to him, when I called for him every full moon for five years.” She didn’t realize hot tears had spilled from her eyes until the biting cold almost froze them to her cheeks. “So no, you have nothing to worry about. Don’t you dare ever doubt it.” She bit out.