The shock was helpful. He only yelled loudly when Regan grabbed him, and a royal guard tapped on the door.

“Is all well, sire?” He asked.

“Very well.” Cassian returned, climbing to his feet. If something was truly wrong he would have said more, a code previously established with his royal guard.

“Very well, sire.”

Cassian looked at the man. His face was stoic, his expression grim. He was thinking.

Regan held the man tight and held her breath as the guard tapped on the door. She’d wait for Cassian, every muscle tense, eyes no longer dark but snapping with sparks.

There were many things they could do in this situation, but there were also many risks. Cassian turned from them and walked slowly towards his desk, a picture of calm collection when in fact his hands quivered. He had done various dark things during his time as king, but he always believed the reason to be sincere, for the good of the kingdom. What he did not had to be done for poor reasons, but would ultimately serve Nevermere. This was for Nevermere.

“Kill him.” Cassian delivered the words with his back turned, but he turned back to watch the work.

Regan didn’t hesitate—not for a second. As soon as Cassian turned and the man’s eyes widened in fear Regan sharply snapped the hunter’s neck in one fluid movement. Her strength was almost enough to have his head come off entirely, but instead it bent at an exceptionally awkward angle and hung to the side. As he slumped, Regan caught him and guided the man gently to the ground.

For a moment, Regan was still, staring down at the body. The man didn’t even seem a man anymore. He was an object, as lifeless and meaningless as a broken chair needed to be disposed of. Her eyes turned to Cassian then. She’d step over the body and to where he stood near his desk. Gently, Regan would go to take Cassian’s hand.

Cassian's flinch at the sudden snap of the neck was minute but present. He wanted to turn away, but he forced himself to look. He forced himself to memorize the face of the man he had just killed. This wasn't battle. He wasn't an enemy. He was, for all Cassian knew, a loyal Nevermerean man. And now he was dead. It was helpful to have someone like Regan, loyal and unquestioning, but when she reached for his hand Cassian felt himself draw it away. It was slight but decisive. The darkness of his decision didn't need to touch him, and the death of that man was still fresh on Regan's palm.

When Regan’s hand found nothing but empty space, she looked up at Cassian with panic behind her eyes. Her chest tightened as she scanned the lines of his face, searching for some clue as to what to do next. All she saw was what her mind told her to see: rejection. The threat of abandonment t. She moved back a step, her hands shaking now as she tucked them behind her and clenched them to keep the trembling from being too obvious. The perfect picture of a dutiful soldier, though keeping the rising boil of hurt from spilling out as tears required effort.

“I—I can take the, him, wherever you need me to.” Her voice was steady, but taught with a thread of desperation. Though Regan continued to stare at Cassian with her big, dark eyes, she wasn’t actually seeing him. The shutters behind her eyes had closed, as she sunk into the hole in her heart she’d dug long ago to protect herself.

Cassian would have noticed how Regan reacted, except he wasn’t looking at her. He wasn’t thinking about her. Sunk slowly into his chair, eyes fixed on the body in his study. He didn’t say anything, not immediately.

Regan wanted to collapse in on herself and disappear. Whatever silence it was, for however long it lasted, Regan could hardly breathe. She stood at attention, expression increasingly desperate as her panic started to take hold. Like a hibernating creature awoken from its slumber, her childish fears started to gnaw at her with their sharp teeth. That she was a thing ruined, one inadequate and unworthy. That whatever she was Cassian had discovered was not enough. Moreover, the smell of death started to creep towards her, tapping on her shoulder as a cold pit formed in her stomach.

Eventually, Regan couldn’t help herself.

“Your Majesty?” She whispered in a voice so soft that it could scarcely be heard.

Cassian’s reverie broke and his eyes snapped up to Regan at her words. It was then that he saw it. He couldn’t name it, not in a single word, but he was at once made aware of how fickle her confidence in his loyalty to her was. Something softened in his eyes.

“Yes, dispose of the body.” After just a beat: “Regan? You’ve done well.”

Regan also realized something in that moment. That her allegiance to Cassian brought it’s own kind of hunger that she’d failed to recognize the enormity of. Becoming his alpha didn’t mean she’d now be able to live in comfort. Needing him was another fire that would have to be fed. That she’d live and die by, where a drop of praise would be lapped up but not be enough to sustain her. And that realization was terrifying.

Regan smiled a little, the tension in her chest releasing as she nodded once. She started to turn but paused, mouth opening and shutting for a second before she said, just as softly as before.

“Wolves hunt. It’s what they do. It doesn’t mean…I mean, you’re still—” Regan was caught for a moment, trying to find a sufficient word, “I’d follow you anywhere. Not just because of us, of the pack, but as a subject. A Nevermeran. With you as my king.”

Regan wasn’t one sophisticated enough for lies and flattery. Every word had the unmistakable ring of sincerity to it. She wouldn’t wait for a response. Her eyes would linger for a moment before she’d turn to gently scoop up the body in her arms as if the hunter were a newborn child.

If Cassian were prone to displays of emotion, something might have showed as her words broke into the air. Instead, his face showed nothing but its usual mask of relative indifference. The only telling part of the man was his eyes. They gazed hungrily at the place where her words hung. Regan could not have known, as Cassian had never given any indication, but her words breathed a life in Cassian.

He only nodded, sliding his key across his desk for her to snag before moving to the body.