Hadrian told himself he’d feel better in a couple of days. He’d been fitful, unsettled with rage, but he’d tried to keep a calm face on for Alys. She needed someone strong, a constant in an uncertain world, and he was determined to be that for her. She’d already suffered so much, more than Hadrian could imagine, and he wouldn’t be another arrow in her side when she was already riddled with them.

So, Hadrian had decided on dinner. For all of them—Alys and the children both. Uncle Hadrian was a familiar face; he’d been Logan’s best friend, after all, even their estrangement hadn’t made him a stranger, so to speak. Hadrian had dressed in civilian clothes, not fancy but in a manner that showed his presence at the table mattered.

He was just tying his tie when he heard a knock at the door.

“Come in,” He called, finishing with a flourish.

She waited only a moment before twisting the handle and allowing herself in. Her mind already two steps ahead and yet she glanced up and caught sight of him. Casual, but in a way that reminded her of a time long ago, when she had been a Roggar. Long before she had finished mandated training, when she had seen her father and brothers dressing in their best for a dinner, an engagement. It wasn’t anything grand compared to the finery she had become accustom to since marrying a noble…

But for commoners, Alys remembered thinking how handsome they all looked. Hadrian might have stole the entire show though now. It was enough to make her breath catch in her throat. She stared for a long moment, before ducking her chin just enough to break her eye contact of him and glancing around the room, not out of fear but to collect herself.

“I just wanted to come and…” her gaze returned to him, face hidden in shadows as she spoke, “thank you for letting us be here. And I wanted to reassure you I— we—,” she stopped for a moment before her hand came up to rub at those short curls over her hood.

Alys’s cloaked figure slipped into the room, face obscured as always. Hadrian started walking toward her with slow, sure purpose as she spoke. She reached up to brush the curls under her hood, and Hadrian reached up to slip the hood from her face. A knife twisted in his gut—one of bitterness, rage, and grief. The old Alys was still there under the scars, but he had to search for her. Hadrian wished that he could say it didn’t matter, that the new jarring elements of her appearance didn’t bother him, but they did. They did and he hated himself for it.

Tenderly, Hadrian took Alys’s chin in two fingers and lifted it so she might look at him.

“You don’t have to reassure me of anything,” Hadrian said softly, brushing a hand along her cheek, “Nor do you have to hide.”

His hand slipped under the hood and she braced herself, for she knew what was coming. Her dark eyes flashed up to watch it happen, as if she couldn’t help herself as the fabric fell back on her shoulders and the pinch in his face happened. Her jaw feathered, and she was only able to make it relax as his fingers angled her head and her eyes held his.

He said the right words, ones that made her want to sink into him. That made her actually do so, her scarred cheek pressing to his hand. But her brow still remained pinched together. “You look at me like Adda does.” She said it softly, no accusation, just a simple fact. “I just wanted to tell you that we, or more specifically I, won’t be in the way.”

She didn’t mistake his kindness for anything more than that. But it didn’t mean she didn’t care about him and his well being. “I am… going to disappear here soon. For a night.” She was only saying it because he might notice if he dared to seek her out, though that might be a thing of the past. “I’ll be back by morning. But I didn’t want to alarm you if you…” she let her words dragged out, a pregnant pause before she continued. “If you didn’t find me.”

Hadrian didn’t know what she meant, but he let the comment stand without contradiction. Since Logan’s death, since Kennet’s breaking their engagement, his care for Alys had become something more central to his universe than he’d like to admit. Just what that translated to in actuality remained to be seen. All he knew was that he had to protect her. He had to.

When she said that she was soon to leave, Hadrian instinctively pulled her close. His brow furrowed in concern as he scanned her now-changed features. “Where will you go?” He said, trying to keep his voice steady as he held her tightly.[/blockqutoe]

He pulled her closer, and her hands raised instinctively. One cupping his hand against her cheek, her discolored skin laying against his evenly toned one. Her other gripping his forearm, gentle but firm as she stared at him. The worry that had weaved through him and rested in his features had her leaning into him a touch more. Like she believed that he’d carry the weight of it all for her if she just asked.

“Not far.” Which was the truth. “I’ll be back by first light. Probably before you even wake.” Though she had a feeling that wouldn’t be true if he was anything like her, Logan, many of those who were soldiers. “And I’ll be safe,” as long as she didn’t get blindsided by Regan again. In fact, she wondered if she’d run into them at all during the full moon.

Her dark eyes flickered down to the buttons over his chest, her hand leaving his forearm to smooth over the buttons. “You look nice, handsome,” she patted the center of his chest.

Hadrian leaned in and kissed her forehead, lingering there as his fingers tightened on the side of her face. Though she was close, he still felt as though he couldn’t reach her. That there was something that kept her at arm's length no matter how he tried to tug her close. Perhaps it was grief, or trauma, or uncertainty as to their connection. But in any case, Hadrian clung to her for a moment before parting and looking her dead in the eyes.

“I’d like to come with you,” He said, knowing what the answer would likely be. The question came before a roguish, very Hadrian grin that lit his features with confidence and vigor far younger than his years.

“I still clean up alright,” He said, running a finger down her nose before tapping it once and dropping his hand, “It seemed appropriate to have something special. For the children. For you—” Hadrian caught himself, stopping the rest of the sentence before it could fully form.

Alys felt the air stir around them as he held and kissed her forehead. Her own hands tightening around him and eyes squeezing shut as if she could just sink into him. Not to forever go away, but to linger where she felt a warmth that didn’t scare her now.

“You won’t keep up.” She said it with a touch of a tease in her tone, “I promise I’ll be okay. If you want, I’ll come straight to you in the morning,” she offered, staring up at him before they slid into what she thought was going to be an easier banter.

But the way his words cut off, how he fell silent, she searched his face then. There was more to be said, she could almost see the words hidden behind his lips. So what held him back? Her eyes filling with the question and yet the want of him to continue.

Hadrian held her close, still smiling but with sadness in his eyes. He held her face in his hand as if he might break her if he moved too suddenly. As if she were a precious but fragile thing to be handled with respect and care. “I know better than to try and keep pace with you.” He whispered, stroking her cheek. After a moment, he kissed her cheek softly and stepped back.

“Come straight to me. I feel I know the answer but…” Hadrian smirked, “No chance you’ll tell me where you’re going?”

Nothing more was shared, just the sad look that made her stomach twist. She hated it because it could have meant too many things. Even as his lips met her skin, she had to let out a slow breath. What was it? Why…

He shifted into something easier for her to sink her teeth into. “Not a chance. I can’t have you knowing all my secrets.” It was a joke, one that was met with a bit of laughter for a moment before it fell as she remembered the day he had arrived to the estate. And he hadn’t been the one to greet her.

“Hadrian,” her voice suddenly more taut, her face growing more serious. “You can’t go around telling people what I’ve told you. To have a stranger repeat words to me that I trusted you with… that I’ve only breathed to you…” she ran her hand over her short hair. “I was blindsided by Vesper. By not only her sudden appearance but by what she knew.” Dark eyes returned to him.

“I’m not interrupting anything between you two by being here am I?” Finally, it slipped out. Her cheeks heated a touch, but she held his gaze.

Yes, Hadrian should have prepared her for Vesper. He saw that now, but did not dwell on it. He took Alys’s face in his hands, thumbs stroking his cheeks as he smiled. His masculine pride swelled at Alys’s question. That she’d be…jealous? Wary? Whatever it was, Hadrian responded by kissing her on the lips, firmly, lingering as if that were all the answer that she needed.

“Vesper has served with me a long time. She can be trusted and has our—your—best interests in mind. I should have warned you, but…” Hadrian sighed, “I’m afraid our friends are few, Alys. The ones we have we must hold close. Vesper is one of them.”

Hadrian outwardly was comforting, but half of his mind was elsewhere—panicked. Where could she be going? And how could he find out?

She wanted him to understand the gravity of the situation. Of him speaking to others about it. She felt she had conveyed it before when he first found her and they had spoke in his office. But with Vesper now, a woman she only knew by name and not much else, she feared she hadn’t pushed it hard enough.

But he was smiling at her… at her jealousy. Because deep down, she knew it was a mixture of jealousy, wariness, and a confusion all wrapped in one. His lips pressed to hers and she only waited a moment before she returned it. He spoke of vesper as a friend, it was what Vesper herself had told Alys. She was there to help her, to see her thrive.

Alys wanted to believe it, and even Hadrian seemed to offer this as a new friendship. “No one else Hadrian. Please.” Because Vesper now just joined the ranks of those she’d have to protect if things went bad. “And… thank you. For all of this.” The chance for her to breathe, to reconnect with her children. For himself. For Vesper.

”No one else.” Hadrian’s voice was grave, sincere as the sentiment behind it. But Alys was right—it was a promise he’d made once before. This was his second chance to keep it. Whether or not he would remained to be seen. Regan wasn’t simply a secret to be kept—it was a threat to the king and kingdom. And, nearly, a murderer. And Hadrian would do whatever it took to keep Alys and the kingdom safe.

Hadrian’s eyes softed as he brushed her cheek. “You’re welcome to stay. Forever, if you’d like.” It was delivered as a partial jest…but wasn’t quite.