(confirmed with Finn that he’d still be there)

October too was starting to wonder about the true reason for illness. If he was correct then she was presenting differently this time compared to the others but it was certainly not out of the question as a possibility.

October didn’t think twice about taking hold of her hair as she bent over the plant. He touched nothing but her hair. She had enough on her mind at the moment and didn't need to also worry about cleaning herself up should she miss.

Once she was finished and moved to straighten herself up again, he'd release her locks and take a few steps from the pair as they spoke, his focus on the hallway and assuring no one else would come around.

(He doesn't need to be included in the post order. I'll post him every so often or if he is addressed)

Iliana’s face burned with embarrassment, but as her stomach emptied itself, she could only focus on keeping herself from wanting to kneel in front of the plant and not move. Her body bent at the waist, hands bracing the pot, she silently thanked whoever stepped forward and held her hair back in her mind. By the time she straightened, her stomach was empty and cramping for a whole new reason.

This had been mostly why she didn’t want to leave her rooms. It had been far too frequent before but apparently had not completely disappeared. A look of gratitude was given to October before she pulled out a small handkerchief from a hidden pocket, dabbed her mouth before she folded it neatly and tucked it back in its place. Taking Cassian’s arm, the color of embarrassment still highlighted her cheeks. “Tell me how to fix that.” Her voice low, hazel eyes not moving from the hallway ahead. “He doesn’t speak to me as a queen but the child he visited who had been locked in a room to study.”

Perhaps shame lingered at the slight downward curve of her lips before she schooled herself. “Was I wrong?” It was asked honestly, her voice soft as they walked. Almost drowned out by their footsteps. He was someone she had grown to trust, someone who she had once tried to model herself after. Many little things stayed, but ultimately, she was not Cassian. Maybe that was her biggest downfall.

Cassian’s eyes rested on October Montgomery as Iliana vomited. The guard didn’t move when the queen almost fell, but held back her hair in this instance? It was unusual behavior, and anyone who witnessed it would notice the intimacy. Cassian was no fool. He stored the observation away for another time.

When they continued their walk he was slow to speak, thoughtful about what she asked.

“I do not think this is a matter of right and wrong.” He began, letting his eyes trace the pictures on the walls before them. “Everyone, from every noble to commoner, has a perspective on how things should be done, and people are growing weary and scared. The crown is always the first to take the blame.” It was as close to empathy as Cassian would get, having experienced the same issue in his own kingdom.

“Rather than focusing on what has been said, focus on what you will do next. You’ve made a plan for your people; execute it. Do not ask. Tell. Augustus will fall in line when he sees you wielding the authority of your position.” His eyes moved to their corners to eye here, the lingering thought of her condition still not surfacing as a question.

Iliana held a hand over her shoulder, signaling for October and the guards to fall back a little as her and Cassian moved forward more. She’d turn him to stop beside a window, so she could see him in the light. “I’m not looking for the diplomatic answer,” she spoke softly. “I want your honest thoughts Cassian, for I value you and your thoughts above any one else within this palace,” she searched his face. “Please tell me… Am I wrong?” Wrong for going up against Augustus in front of everyone? Wrong for feeling so betrayed by her uncle in that moment? Wrong for thinking… she had mostly the wrong council around her.

“I was hoping they’d move on these things. I had already everything here for them or within easy reach. Remiel who is possibly the only gifted that the other gifteds trust now who is on our side, the Arynnite here. They had all the tools but chose to wait and now throw blame at me. Or I suppose the crown, as you say,” she kept her voice low and her eyes searching him the whole time. “I can take what blame is mine, but when those who are meant to act just sit idle except for just maintaining?” Her hand on his arm gave a gentle squeeze. “I am going to move forward. But I can’t learn if you don’t help me know now.”

Cassian heard her question, and assumed what followed was what she wanted an answer to. She wasn’t asking Cassian how she should manage Lorendale. She wanted an answer for how to manage her people, then. That, he could give.

“Simon took initiative and acted without permission, and you were displeased. Augustus and Scout have not acted without your permission, and you are displeased.” It was spoken as an objective observation. She didn’t want diplomacy, but that was in Cassian’s nature. What he was giving her now, however, was the truth, however lacking in warmth it might be.

“Did you consult your court before your speech?” She hadn’t consulted him, and they both knew it. “Had you already delegated roles for the execution of your desires?”

Iliana barely contained herself at his answer. “Simon,” she said under her breath. For this was truly just the two of them, even if she kept her face masked, her eyes gave her away. “Had never once brought this before me. He never once partnered with me. He went behind my back, using my name.” Proactive is not what she labeled that. Betrayal. Treason.

“I spoke for hours with Augustus to make the speech, and Mara.” Mara… she had left. Another detail that she had suppressed during her sickness. She raised a hand, tucking back some of her hair. It wouldn’t stay back long as she turned to the sun coming through the window.

Iliana reached for him then, her hand brushing his. Intimate, and as her mind turned she almost wondered if it’d be easier to let the others tell him. He had known the moment she was pregnant with Cass… they had practically ran to him with the news. Declan had been the same. Potions had been used to ensure she was fertile, to ensure a proper heir… a boy. But not this time? It was so early…

“This has been so different from before.” She murmured, knowing her words could have meant anything. Her eyes moving back to him, knowing it was the first time she actually would be the one to tell him and not someone else. “We are to have a third child,” she gave a small, hopeful smile. With all of this chaos… this frustration… it was her small light now.

Cassian said nothing, because he agreed with her assessment of Simon’s actions. They had been foolish and ineffective and made an enemy of the throne of Lorendale. He wanted to know what Iliana would do with him, but her touch swiftly removed his mind from politics.

His hand would reflexively seek to return the touch, perhaps not a handhold, but certainly a caress of his fingers. His eyes searched her face, and when she said what he had suspected he allowed the smile that naturally formed. It lasted only a beat before he resumed his neutrality.

“Are you pleased?”

His silence gave her the answer she needed. While Cassian was a reserved man, she had slowly found herself picking up on the way he was over the years. Even if he surprised her from time to time. His silence meant he didn’t have anything to add… because he agreed. If she was wrong, he would’ve given her another question.

But that was all forgotten the moment he smiled. He didn’t do it often. Not like this. Iliana was sure she could count on one hand the times she had seen such a natural smile, not muted to keep his appearance. Her smile was immediate in response, and while his was quickly tucked back away, hers remained. This was the first time she had gotten to tell him, and something told him that he didn’t quite smile like that when he heard of Cass or Declan from the others.

“I am,” she voice light, her hand brushing her stomach. “I wish it didn’t come with absolute sickness that made me incapable of many things… but I am.” Because this time was different. She wasn’t taking potions to ensure conception, she wasn’t taking anything to ensure a male heir was given. This time was all on their own, and with love. Having finally after all these years admitting it, and Cassian returned it. Even if it was just the one time. And while not her first child, nor her second, this made the third one special to her.

More heirs. Cassian didn’t need more, but it also didn’t hurt. In fact, he took a particular kind of joy in watching Iliana with their children. Motherhood didn’t come naturally to everyone, but it did to this queen. There were times when he considered what it would look like if she had a more simple life, one that did not include the weight of a kingdom riding on her shoulders. A moot thought, of course.

“Delegate.” He encouraged again. “Delegate and rest.”

Iliana watched Cassian for a moment longer, perhaps even with adoration in her eyes. But it could never last long, but she stole any little moment she could have of it. “I will,” She nodded, though perhaps delegate might be something she fully did this time instead of her usual. Delegate and hope they’d listen, that they’d take the reins and not rebel.

She was still unsure what had shifted in that room, with Augustus specifically. “My uncle doesn’t trust you, or me,” she murmured softly. Their moment of bliss now having to be over, fully taking back on the weight of the crown. “At least I don’t think he does with me anymore after that meeting.” The way he scolded her so openly…

Cassian listened to her, not wanting to bowl over her perception with his response.

“It’s possible.” He said, affirming what she had seen and felt. “But also consider that he is a patriot. He loves Lorendale more than he loves himself, I suspect. For all his flaws and untimeliness, I wonder if his motives are still pure.” He let her chew that for a beat before adding, “And as long as his methods remain so, let us keep confidence in him. He is an asset you cannot afford to lose.” He felt the same about Simon, but knew that now was not the time to say it.

Keep confidence in him. Cassian might have seen it flicker across her face, she was best in front of others, but not him. The distrust that now laid there. As if someone had pulled back a veil that had been half concealing her view on her uncle. Though her chin dipped, and she wouldn’t push her uncle away, there was most definitely something now between them. Whether it was a hurdle or a wall or fortress was yet to be seen.

“Let me know of King Akagi’s answer, I’ll be ready for him.” She said as her hands smoothed down the front of her, finger tips resting for just a moment over the lower portion of her belly before she folded her hands. “I should freshen up before I attempt to meet with others.” She knew he needed to leave soon to meet with the king of Arynn Frey. But she didn’t want to push him off either. She just knew that there would be no time to linger this day. Most days… but she knew she’d get her evening with him. Even if she had to use the portal key herself to disrupt one.

Cassian nodded. The meeting was finished, she undoubtedly had a mint leaf somewhere to chew to freshen her breath, and he had a meeting to attend.

He’s reach for her hand and bring it to his lips, eyes flickering between hers as he did.

“Be well.” It was a silly wish, really, because pregnancy would do as it pleased…but he knew she would appreciate the sentiment. And he meant it. With that, he would take his leave.