Veda was determined she would be leaving, but only hesitated when she entered the rush of fresh air and found not the front drive but instead the back of the house. Couples, groups, were scattered across the balcony and didn’t bat an eye at her as she made for the stairs to the back yard. She’d just go around the side until she could leave and—

Fred caught her before she made it to the first step. Wheeling her around and she almost snarled at him. He kept talking and she felt the heat in her face return. “Embarrassed?!” She hissed. Then glanced around them. “I am the one embarrassed. You are my partner and you felt like you had to hide from me!” Hadn’t she done the same? She shook her head and switched her words, “and why wouldn’t a Chaudhari,” she lowerred her voice when she said her name, “be comfortable here? Truth be told I think I am the only one who is stupid enough to walk away from this because—,” she couldn’t finish her own sentence. Because for some reason in her head she had wanted at least her first time to mean something. And no one had meant anything to her before… not like—

“It doesn’t matter.” She turned to try and walk back down the steps. “Either you return to the party where you could actually have a good night, or walk with me before I drag you down these steps with me.”

Fred was taken aback by her anger. He had thought she was upset and uncomfortable but hadn't expected anger. He didn't know how to handle that. When they had first been paired it had not been a match made in heaven by any means, it had taken a lot of time and learning to get their relationship and partnership to where it was now. It had been a while since her anger was directed at him and he hated how much it actually hurt him, not that he was going to admit that right now...or ever.

She was trying to explain something but stopped halfway through and he wasn't sure he was following her train of thought. She walked away then and he let go of her arm, not wanting to accidently make her fall. Given her reaction he thought she'd demand he leave her alone but instead he gave her options. He wasn't sure it was much better. It still hurt. There was no way he could have a good time tonight by staying at this party, not with what had just happened.

He didn't need to think about his decision as he started to follow her. A few people had glanced their way at her outburst but it was short lived as they were quickly distracted with their other activities. He didn't say anything else until they reached the bottom of the steps and started to move through the yard to head towards the front. "I don't think you're stupid..." he mumbled from behind her.

Veda was partly surprised he picked to join her. Though she wasn’t sure if she could’ve returned to the party if their roles had been reversed. It wasn’t that she hadn’t ever thought about it. And had Fred not been at her side, she might have lingered on the outskirts for a little while longer. But he had been talking seriously about helping her find someone. Something about that… had made her bolt. They didn’t say anything for a moment, and she wondered if this would be it.

Except as they rounded to the side of the estate he broke the silence. “You should.” Because this party was for such activities, there were no couples hiding in the shadows along the corner of the estate to make out. Which left them utterly alone. “I’m not upset with you. Surprised, but I’m angry at myself.” Her eyes dropping to the space just in front of her feet. “I ruined your night even when I didn’t want to.”

Fred continued to follow her but perhaps not as closely as he normally might have. Though normally they walked side by side. He cringed at her reply that he should think such a thing and kept his gaze on his feet, shoulders hunched, until she spoke again.

He almost reached out to physically stop her and turn her around but didn’t want to further piss her off. “Veda, this silly little party is not nearly as important to me as you are. You ruined nothing. I should have been up front with you from the beginning but…I’d rather spend my evening fighting for you…uh, with you, then doing anything else.”

Veda found her eyes widen at his response, and naturally she whirled towards him. Stopping in front of him with confusion heavy on her brow as she gazed up at him. “You’d rather be out here fighting.” She repeated back to him, as if she needed him to heard the absurd part of that statement. “Then in there,” her finger pointed, the tip of it just brushing the stone of the house, “getting to enjoy yourself with whoever you’d pick? Do you have a normal partner?”

Why did the words feel so heavy on her tongue? “It’s none of my business,” she said it so quickly, her hand falling to her hip. She wanted it to be her business she realized, and she hung her head. “I’m not ashamed of you. I never could be Fred.” She said it quietly. “I’m just pissed that you thought to hide this… this part of you.” Shame colored her cheeks. She was lecturing him on something she did herself. Seems they both had secrets.

Fred couldn’t understand why she was so surprised by what he said or why she might not believe him. “Of course,” he said, confused at her line of questioning. “Because my relationship with you is far more important and valuable than reveling in…physical…release.” Words weren’t always his strong suit.

He could understand why she’d be pissed that he’d kept part of his life from her, so at least it wasn’t all confusing. “I know. I’m sorry. I just didn’t know how to say ‘by the way I’ve been sleeping with my brother’s wife. Oh and he’s okay with it.’” He said, rubbing at the back of his neck. “That’s how this all started actually. There was a masquerade party and I connected with Ellison for that one night. When we happened to discover the identity behind the masks, I kinda became her, I don’t know, play thing.”

Agreeing… always agreeing with her. Always apologizing. “Stop… stop apologizing Fred.” She was trying to be the one to give him apologies and he kept handing them right back. She was more frustrated with herself than anything else.

But then Fred dropped a bomb on her. Her eyes going wide, she blinked hard. Surely she misheard him. But he went on and — “Ellison.” She repeated the name. Now she didn’t know what to say as he went on to explain how it happened. “And Ben knows.” She felt like she was in a different space all together. “You are sleeping with your brother’s wife, regularly, as her play thing… and he knows all about it. And Ben… Ben likes men.” She suddenly remember what she saw inside.

Nodding her head she turned again. Why had she not ever noticed or asked? “Do you not trust me?” Her chest contracting as she stood before him, dark eyes on him. “Is that why you didn’t tell me?”

He grimaced again as she chidedhim for apologizing. He’d never been great with conflict and often took the blame all on himself. He almost apologized for apologizing but caught himself so all he did was open his mouth and then close it.

As she started to question him he gave an expression that was meant to express ‘see why I didn’t say anything?’ “What? No, of course I trust you. It’s just, complicated, clearly. The both love each other but both are also interested in people of the same sex. Their marriage together makes that work for them both. I didn’t say anything because it felt like it wasn’t my secret to share, not because I didn’t trust you.”

”Don’t look at me like that,” she was quick to her words, and couldn’t look him in the eye as she said it. She knew this was exactly why he didn’t tell her. To have to answer these questions and did she feel so dumb for all of it. But the surprises kept rolling, and her brows furrowed further. “But you are a man... ” She said started… “You aren’t the only one who is with her… when you are.” She concluded quietly.

“Do you love her?” Was this why Fred was constantly changing his mind about others? Because he wanted who he couldn’t have… at least not out in public. “Were you really going to spend your whole night with me? You’d be giving up… everything to be at my side…” color heated her face and she turned to walk again. He would be at her side… not—

It didn’t matter. It was darker on the side of the house. The trees blocking out the moonlight. She placed her hand on the wall to keep herself steady.

This conversation was confusing to Fred. He felt like he couldn’t stay on top of her emotions. Just when he started to think they were on the same page she’d throw out something new he didn’t expect.

“Sometimes it’s just been the two of us. Other times there is another girl involved but the attention is always on her, not on me…every so often Ben has joined in and I mostly just try to keep my distance on those days.” Play thing for sure. Not that didn’t all care about each other but her dominating side has been the draw for him and he basically had just been doing whatever she requested…or demanded ever since.

“What?!” He replied in surprise at she asked about his feelings for Ellison. Though he supposed it was a fair question. He fell in love so easily but it hasn’t really turned into that with Ellison. Maybe because she’d never actually been available. “No. No no no. I mean, I care about her, we’re friends but it’s not like we’re in love or anything like that. She has Ben.” Though their marital arrangement was not one he thought could ever work for him, he did admire how much Ben and Ellison loved one another.

Then she was walking off again. He lifted his arms in an expression of bewilderment but was soon following along again. “Veda, I wanted to spend my time with you tonight. And if that meant finding someone you were interested in then I would have done that for you. Though-“ he sighed a bit. “I would have been just as happy to be the one you wanted to stay with.” He realized what he said and stuttered a bit. “To, you know, hang out or whatever. I just wanted to be whatever you needed me to be.”

Now this was just… a lot. Yet it wasn’t new to her. She knew about these parties, what they had , what was done… but it was different. Fred hadn’t been at those parties, it had been something so far away from their partnership and work relationship. And now… now they were truly within the same world.

There was a bit of relief to hear him say he didn’t love Ellison like that. Veda wasn’t sure she could handle that heart break if it came to it. It was one thing to like someone, to pine for them… but once physical relationships formed… she couldn’t imagine how she’d console him then. It was an interesting dynamic. Ellison and Ben. She’d have to ask him after the tongue lashing he’d get the next time she saw him.

Fred was following her again, and when she whirled this time it was right into his chest. Bumping into him and stumbling slightly in the shadows. She did her best to search his face, “what about what you needed from me Fred?” It was always about her, she had never minded in the past. But the wine had loosened her tongue just a bit.

Fred let out a surprised 'oof' sound as she suddenly turned and ran right into his chest, though instinct had his arms quickly around her to keep her from stumbling too much. As she looked up at him his hands never left her sides, staring down at her, at his partner, at his very beautiful partner.

What did he need from her? A need and a want were very different things. "What I need," he said after a beat, "is for us to be okay. I'd hate for this whole situation to mess with everything." He was gonna kill Ben for putting them through this. Fred was different with Veda than he was with anyone else. He didn't have a lot of self-confidence and while that was still true around her, he also was more comfortable with her general than anyone else, even Ellison.

"What I want..." he lifted his hand to brush the back of his fingers along her soft cheek. He parted his lips to try to speak again but couldn't find the right words so he used his actions instead. Before he could change his mind he leaned down and pressed a soft, but quick kiss to her lips. His heart racing with nerves that kept it from committing to a longer kiss until he was sure she wouldn't just get mad and push him away. Maybe she would.

What he needed was for them to be okay. She practically scoffed. They’d be fine… right? She’d make it right between them, and she was preparing to tell him that for them to be okay that they needed to—

But he was speaking again. What did he want…

Veda stilled as his hand brushed her cheek, blinking as her anger suddenly vanished for a moment. She had seen him do this before, not to her. From afar, with a witch he liked. She remembered thinking about it, about how his hand would feel… but it wasn’t for her. Softness from Fred wasn’t for her because she was his partner and she was nothing more.

Except he leaned into her and kissed her. Soft, for just a moment. His lips found hers and her heart galloped in her chest, thundering in her ears as he pulled back and looked down at her. Those brown eyes were wide and she stared up at him with parted lips, her eyes flicking between his eyes still so blue in the shadows of the trees and estate… and then the lips that had just been on hers.

She didn’t shove him away, but she didn’t drag him back. Not as she stared at him. “Is… is that what… you actually want?” She was torn. She knew Fred. What he wanted right now… might not be what he wanted tomorrow or the next week. And she cared deeply for him, but what did he want? Hadn’t she just been worrying about the witch he was just fighting over her wreath.

Her hands came up and she placed them against his chest. “What about Evanthe?” She hated herself for asking, but— she needed to know.