Post by Nicholas Beaumont on May 7, 2024 4:56:50 GMT -5
[For Indira Beaumont ]
The closer he got to Indira's home, the more Nicholas contemplated turning around. Six years ago, right before Jovi was born, Nicholas had left Indira. Yes, they were technically still married, because divorce would leave their reputation in shambles, but he hadn't been around much. During the pregnancy, he had been so excited to have a child. He had promised himself to be better than his father, and to give the child a happy and warm home. Yet, the closer they got to Indira's due date, the more scared he had become. What if he couldn't be the father he wanted to be? He had never experienced what it was like to have a loving father. How could he provide Jovi with it, if he didn't know how?
Eventually, Nick has told Indira he couldn't do it. He had left them, meaning Indira had given birth without him present. He had stayed out of her life for at least half a year before he returned to her. And that was the start of the difficult relationship that they now had. Borderline personality disorder wasn't a known condition in these times, so his odd and fluctuating personality was something nobody really understood, not even Nicholas himself. All he and Indira knew was that he would leave and disappear, only to resurface some months later and return to Indira with promises of doing better and wanting to take care of her and Jovi.
Other people knew him as unpredictable, but didn't know about the situation between him and Indira. It was none of their business. When asked about his wife, he would say they were both just very busy people. But Indira knew the truth. She knew that Nicholas was no longer the man she once knew.
The gray-haired company owner steered his horse onto the path leading up to Indira's house. His heart felt heavy. He had had time to think, and he was ready now to be there for her again. He genuinely believed that this time would be different, but his mental condition would never allow him to leave the past behind and actually be there for his family. He would try his best for a couple of weeks, maybe months, and then he'd leave again. It was always the same.
When he got closer, he could see a little figure playing in front of the house. Nicholas felt panic rise in his chest, but pushed through. It was Jovi. That meant Indira was home. There was no turning back now, especially not after the little girl looked up and saw him. While he descended from his horse, he saw Jovi run inside.
He wondered what she would tell her mother. Would she say "daddy is here!" or did she refer to him as Nicholas? Did she know he was her father? Or had Indira told her a story about him? When he was around and when he was feeling well, mentally, he did take care of her like a daughter, but him leaving over and over again must be confusing for her too. Would her tone be happy when she told her mother he was here, or would she sound disappointed? And what would Indira think, or say?
Once his horse was tied up, he walked towards the front door, which Jovi had left open. With his hands behind his back, he would stand on the front porch, waiting for Jovi and Indira to come out. There was no point in knocking, Jovi had seen him, but he didn't feel comfortable just walking in either.
The closer he got to Indira's home, the more Nicholas contemplated turning around. Six years ago, right before Jovi was born, Nicholas had left Indira. Yes, they were technically still married, because divorce would leave their reputation in shambles, but he hadn't been around much. During the pregnancy, he had been so excited to have a child. He had promised himself to be better than his father, and to give the child a happy and warm home. Yet, the closer they got to Indira's due date, the more scared he had become. What if he couldn't be the father he wanted to be? He had never experienced what it was like to have a loving father. How could he provide Jovi with it, if he didn't know how?
Eventually, Nick has told Indira he couldn't do it. He had left them, meaning Indira had given birth without him present. He had stayed out of her life for at least half a year before he returned to her. And that was the start of the difficult relationship that they now had. Borderline personality disorder wasn't a known condition in these times, so his odd and fluctuating personality was something nobody really understood, not even Nicholas himself. All he and Indira knew was that he would leave and disappear, only to resurface some months later and return to Indira with promises of doing better and wanting to take care of her and Jovi.
Other people knew him as unpredictable, but didn't know about the situation between him and Indira. It was none of their business. When asked about his wife, he would say they were both just very busy people. But Indira knew the truth. She knew that Nicholas was no longer the man she once knew.
The gray-haired company owner steered his horse onto the path leading up to Indira's house. His heart felt heavy. He had had time to think, and he was ready now to be there for her again. He genuinely believed that this time would be different, but his mental condition would never allow him to leave the past behind and actually be there for his family. He would try his best for a couple of weeks, maybe months, and then he'd leave again. It was always the same.
When he got closer, he could see a little figure playing in front of the house. Nicholas felt panic rise in his chest, but pushed through. It was Jovi. That meant Indira was home. There was no turning back now, especially not after the little girl looked up and saw him. While he descended from his horse, he saw Jovi run inside.
He wondered what she would tell her mother. Would she say "daddy is here!" or did she refer to him as Nicholas? Did she know he was her father? Or had Indira told her a story about him? When he was around and when he was feeling well, mentally, he did take care of her like a daughter, but him leaving over and over again must be confusing for her too. Would her tone be happy when she told her mother he was here, or would she sound disappointed? And what would Indira think, or say?
Once his horse was tied up, he walked towards the front door, which Jovi had left open. With his hands behind his back, he would stand on the front porch, waiting for Jovi and Indira to come out. There was no point in knocking, Jovi had seen him, but he didn't feel comfortable just walking in either.
