Dear Lady Porter,

I received your letter and I appreciate your candor. It is clear to me that you are in a place of deep reflection, and I commend you for taking the time to examine your past and present circumstances. That being said, I must also express my concern for the self-deprecating tone you have adopted. There is no need to diminish yourself, my dear.

While it is true that men often gravitate toward strong and interesting women, the key is not in trying to force yourself into some preconceived mold, but rather in nurturing and developing those qualities within yourself that you find admirable. If you feel that you lack intrigue, then I would encourage you to begin the process of becoming the woman you wish to be. There is no rush to find a husband when there is still so much potential within you to explore and realize.

To that end, I agree that you should set aside the pursuit of a new match for the time being. Instead I advise you to take this period to focus on yourself and your daughter. Your role as a mother is one of the most important you will ever play, and your time and energy are best spent ensuring that you are the best version of yourself for her sake, as well as your own.

If I may offer a suggestion: take some time to consider the traits you desire in a partner. Write them down, leaving nothing out, no matter how trivial it may seem. Once you have done this, review the list carefully and then turn the gaze inward. Ask yourself: how many of these qualities do I possess? How many am I actively cultivating in my life? Like attracts like, Lady Porter. If you seek a man of certain virtues and strengths, you must first embody those very things.

This is not to say that you should change who you are at your core, but rather that you should strive to be the best version of yourself—the one who would naturally attract the kind of partner you truly desire.

Take heart, Lady Porter. This is not an end but a new beginning. Focus on your personal growth, your daughter, and your well-being. When the time is right, you will be ready to welcome a new chapter in your life, and you will do so as the strong, interesting woman you were always meant to be.

With warmest regards,

Baroness Winifred Whistlebottom
Matchmaker Extraordinaire