Levi knew he had a visitor coming, but he didn't know about the guard, not that it mattered. He had always been the least violent of the Wyndham's, having only broken his oath of nonviolence to defend a woman's honor. He wasn't entirely sure what was going on or why someone wanted to meet him today, but he wouldn't deny them.

He'd attempted to dress decently, but his recent depression left his clothes loose and ill fitting. His eyes were dark and sullen, bloodshot from the amount of times he'd cried. His fingers were stained with dark blotches from ink he'd spilled and been using in all his writings. All said, his attempts to look like a proper gentleman just made him look like a slob.

When Scout arrived, she'd be led down the corridor to the study, where Levi was sitting behind his desk. He glanced up from the parchment in front of him when he heard the door open, first to Scout, then to the guard, then back to Scout. He rose to his feet, extending an arm towards the seat on the other side of his desk. "Please have a seat," he offered quietly.

Great. An interrogation. If they'd wanted that, why not just call him to the palace?

Levi sighed, holding his head in his hands. "Levi, is fine," he corrected when she called him 'Sir.' "I was only vaguely aware of the trial that occured. I do not know the sentence, unfortunately."

He honestly didn't want to know. "Listen. In the past years, I have lost my mother, most.of my family, and the woman I loved, all in one way or another. My heart is in tatters and I'm barely holding it together as it is. If you were the only one who was doing everything right in your family, and yet still had to suffer and watch everything you once loved and cherished crumble around you, do you honestly think that I, barely living as it is, would be able to survive more terrible news regarding my family? It would seem that all I have left is this estate and my title. Even then, the Wyndham name has garnered quite the negative reputation. So, perhaps the estate is all that's left at this point."

He barely managed to glance at Scout. "Did you come here to simply ask such questions? Or did you come to arrest me for crimes I would not be guilty of? Because if you are, just kill me now, as I don't believe my fragile heart will last another day in this state." His eyes dotted with tears, and he allowed his vulnerability to show. He wasn't going to fight. He had no fight left.

Levi made a sound that was akin to a scoff and empty laugh. No one has asked him that before.

"Simple," he started. "I'm a coward."

He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "I made a vow of nonviolence when I gave up being a knight. I broke it once, to defend the honor of a woman, and now I'm being punished for it." He looked at Scout again.

"I don't feel at all like my brother doesntowards the gifteds. Quite the opposite. I told him to leave Luna and her family alone, as her family were known gifteds. He promised she would be safe. Now she's..gone." His voice broke for a moment. "Her family has been attacked as well I've heard. If he was involved in that...after I warned him to stay away from them....then he's already dead to me, no matter what the verdict of the trial."

He was failing to stop the tears from falling. Just bringing up Luna hurt. Bringing up anyone who was lost hurt. And one family member who might still be alive, just might be dead to him already. He didn't care that he had a guest, he crumbled. He dropped his head to his desk, hidden behind his arms, and cried.

How much more could he take?

Levi managed to calm himself down enough to look at her. She was right about many things, many not on the amount of people he'd lost, but he was doing nothing more than wallowing in self pity. But what else could he do?

"You don't understand. Every time I finally begin to pick myself up, something comes along and knocks me back down. I don't know what else to do with my life. I'm a historian, it's not a job that requires me to leave the estate much unless I choose to. And lately, I'm lucky if I find the energy to make it into this study."

Or eat. Or bathe. Or live. He wanted to, but he was scared to try again even for a little bit.

Levi sighed and looked up at her. "Were you not listening? I said that I wouldn't finish myself. I can't.." He just shook his head.

"Look, I don't know what more you want from me. I'm sorry." What more could he say? What more could he do? He was lost.